Quote from the "Son of a Surrogate" Blog

Quote from the "Son of a Surrogate" Blog

It looks to me like I was bought and sold. You can dress it up with as many pretty words as you want. You can wrap it up in a silk freaking scarf. You can pretend these are not your children. You can say it is a gift or you donated your egg to the IM. But the fact is that someone has contracted you to make a child, give up your parental rights and hand over your flesh and blood child. I dont care if you think I am not your child, what about what I think! Maybe I know I am your child.When you exchange something for money it is called a commodity.

Friday, January 17, 2014

The Emperor’s New Kids: A First Hand Account of Third Party Reproduction

"What could be the problem in letting eager caretakers use technology to create the children they so desperately want? In this illuminating talk, Alana Newman uses her first person experience as the daughter of an anonymous sperm donor, as well as her years of experience as a fertility industry watch dog to speak on why there is an infertility epidemic, why we should be worried about the use of profiteering from third party reproduction, and why we should reconsider the meaning of “wanted” child." from http://www.loveandfidelity.org/resources/the-emperors-new-kids-a-first-hand-account-of-third-party-reproduction/

Points that struck me
- "because this is a buisness now, anybody who has the money can have a kid because donor conception is really a euphemism for buying and selling kids"
- designer babies.. want just boys? you do this by "creating a bunch of embryos and search for and destroy the female embryos"
- "the only thing they know about their genetic mother and their birth mother, is that she accepted money in order to abandon them"
- " so we use terms like donation, but their lies what the donors are doing is they're accepting money to promise they'll have nothing to do with the child"
- Consider the wanted child. (As a product of donor conception myself, this "wanted" word just rubs salt in the wound.) Below pictures are Peter Troung and Mark Newton a California couple who hired a Russian surrogate for $8,000.00 to start their family. Days after he was born they started sexually abusing, created distributed child pornography, traveled the world prostituting their son to a pedophile network. What Newton had to say when he and his partner were sentenced to 40 years in prison "being a father was an honor and a privilege that amounted to the best six years of my life". (This couple desperately wanted their child.)
- (In a traditional adoption before you can adopt you go through home inspections and thorough screening to ensure that you're able to provide a good home for the child you're adopting. With 3rd party donor conception you get to just buy your baby and bring it home. It's extremely rare that anyone who goes to by sperm, eggs, or hire a surrogate goes through any rigorous screening. Alana Newman has previously interviewed a person who was at one point head of one of the largest egg banks, and she admitted that out of the thousands of prospective parents she saw she had only ever turned one away.)
- The FDA has NOT approved the use of Lupron for fertility use. There are strong associations with cancers for the horomones that the surrogates and egg donors are taking. (Due to the fact that there have been no long term studies on this prospective donors and surrogates aren't informed when making their decision. To learn more about this There is a documentary called "Eggsploitation" that goes into more detail to see some trailers for this documentary or to order to view go to http://www.eggsploitation.com/)
- What differentiates human trafficking from 3rd party donor conception is simply a case of when the paperwork is signed. If all contracts are signed prior to the child being conceived. Then it's ok. If the contracts are signed during the pregnancy that by law is considered baby selling. Highlighted by an attorney who used to be a surrogacy attorney Theresa Erickson. To learn more about this you can go to http://www.nbcsandiego.com/news/local/Theresa-Erickson-Surrogacy-Abuse-Selling-Babies-140942313.html 
*** As a product of surrogacy to me it doesn't matter when the paperwork was signed whether I was in the womb yet or not. Consider that in a traditional adoption the mother can sign the agreements while pregnant and have a small bit of time to change her mind after the child is born. ** When you buy the egg or the sperm you're not purchasing it for that! You're purchasing the child. Human beings Should Not be for sale
-  "What happens when children become commodities? We see identity loss, disenfranchised grief"
- The idea of we need to know where we come from (why is ancestry so important to us?)
-  A letter to mental health journal  by E Wellisch "...knowledge of and definite relationship to his genealogy is necessary for a child to build up his complete body image and world picture. It's an inalienable and entitled right of every person. There's an urge a call in everybody to follow and fulfill the tradition of the family, race, religion and community into which he was born" reason behind the letter was deprivation of this could develop into a stunting of emotional development. 
- If it's ok to sell your genetic material why isn't it ok to sell your organs? In organ donation it is believed if there were monetary compensation that people would be influenced to risk their health. Egg donation?? Surrogacy?? There is a risk to health there!!
- Important to know your medical! Many egg donor agencies don't keep long term records if there is something the donor's child should know she has no way of letting them know later down the road.


  1. I am the *Grandparent* of a child i will never (?) know ~ My daughter is a Traditional Surrogate. At first, she thought that she was being a helpful person doing this wonderful thing...she is beyond depressed in her 3rd trimester. Wishes she could take this back and make it all go away. Is there a forum/site for *mothers* like her who can connect?

    1. I don't know of any forums as of right now, but there should be. From what I've seen the women who've struggled with this don't get the support they deserve. My heart goes out to all of you, especially the grandbaby that's soon to be here.

    2. Grandma she does not have to go through with anything. She does not have to make good on her contract promise. The thirteenth amendment prevents people from selling themselves into slavery. Her contract should have an exit clause for penalties but how can you penalize someone for assuming parental responsibilities for her own child? How did anyone get themselves into a position where they were relying upon her to make good on a promise to fail her child. She should not have to give a damn dime back. Whatever they gave her the money for it cannot be in exchange for parental title and custody. She should just have shared custody with the other bio parent. If it is her bio child and the bio child of a married man just have his wife live life as the step mother she is. It will be much better for everyone in the end. This is her baby.Good for her make her keep her kid.

    3. My only concern is, that when you look at situations like Cindy Close (The woman who wasn't even a surrogate, she had entered into a co-parenting agreement) had her children taken away. I would highly reccomend seeking legal advise to get a full understanding of the fight that the daughter may be up against.

  2. Is it too late to change her mind and keep the baby since money has changed hands? We are in Washington state ~ Lawyers are involved. Couldn't she just file for bankruptcy and keep the child?

    1. "Washington state law permits surrogacy agreements as long as there is no compensation for the action. The law, which is found in the Revised Code of Washington 26.26.210, prohibits any kind of surrogacy contract that involved monetary or other kinds of compensation that go beyond medical expenses and lawyer fees.

      These surrogacy agreements for compensation are considered void, since they are against public policy, and are punishable as a gross misdemeanor. Compensation includes money, objects, or services, as well as anything else that is deemed as having monetary value.

      If a disagreement occurs regarding the custody of the child between the surrogate and the intended parents, the court recommends using a multi-pronged balancing test based on the relationship with each parents. Furthermore, a 1989 opinion from the Attorney General indicated that a surrogacy agreement is not valid if the surrogate withdraws her consent before a court approves the agreement."

      From a quick google search, I pulled this information off of http://www.fertilityauthority.com/articles/surrogacy-seattle

      I would love to be able to email you, I know a few women who were surrogates who regretted their decision, some have joint custody of their children with the family that they made their original agreements with. If they're up for it maybe I could put your daughter in touch with some of them so she can talk with someone who's been in her shoes?

      If you'd like feel free to e-mail me at jakiam83@gmail.com

    2. Also, I'd recommend speaking to an attorney because I can't be sure if pulled current information from this website.

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